Planning a wedding is supposed to be fun but many brides find that it’s the most stressful time in their life!
In fact, many studies have ranked the stress of planning a wedding right up there with other major life events such as the death of a close family member, imprisonment and serious personal illness or injury. Planning a wedding is actually considered more stressful than losing your job or moving house. Not only are there a million things to organise for a wedding, but often family and friends are busy with their own lives and aren’t able to offer the level of support that a bride-to-be needs. Then there’s the added pressure of other people’s expectations that a wedding will be a spectacular production incorporating a multitude of unique touches and personalised design elements.
No wonder so many brides become bridezillas!
Managing your stress levels throughout the wedding planning process is critical and there are a number of techniques and strategies to help you do this.
1. Maintain some perspective
Yes, there are many, many things to organise for a wedding, but don’t let the wedding take over your life. It’s easy to become obsessed and spend all of your time planning and talking about the wedding, but it’s very important to maintain some perspective.
Ultimately, your wedding day is about marrying the love of your life, not about having the most spectacular centrepieces. Think about a wedding you’ve been to in the past. What do you remember most – the smiles on the bride and groom’s faces or the colour of the chair sashes?
2. Take time out for yourself
Don’t give up that weekly tennis game, your book club meetings or the standing appointment with the girls at the local cafe.
It’s important to maintain your “real” life in the lead up to the wedding, otherwise you risk a serious case of post-wedding blues. As many as one in ten brides find they sink into depression after the wedding, once reality sets in and they are no longer focused on that one special day.
3. Fan the relationship spark
There’s no question that the wedding will be an especially memorable day in your lives, but the marriage which follows is even more important. Don’t lose sight of why you’re getting married by allowing your relationship to revolve solely around wedding plans.
It might even be a good idea to have one day a week, or one weekend a month, when you ban all wedding talk and just spend some normal couple time together. Go and see a movie, catch up with friends for dinner, or just hang out on the couch and chat about anything but the wedding plans.
4. Let people help you
It’s natural to want to maintain control over every aspect of your wedding, but try to keep a leash on your inner control freak. If people offer to help, take them up on it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Your friends and family may not do things in exactly the same manner you would, but having them help with some of the less-critical tasks will greatly relieve the pressure you are feeling.
5. Choose your bridal party wisely
Some people are born drama queens. When choosing your bridal party, think carefully about the personalities involved.
Do you really want your high-maintenance best friend to be your Matron of Honour if it means you will spend the next twelve months having to deal with her insecurities? Or would it be better to have your sister, who is the most organised person you know and will help you stay calm even when the celebrant breaks a leg the week before the wedding?
6. Harness the power of the internet
Today’s brides have a massive advantage over previous generations. The internet is a fabulous source of wedding ideas and inspiration, particularly for brides in regional areas who don’t have easy access to big city stores and wedding vendors. Entire weddings are now being planned online!
Using online supplier directories can help you narrow down the available options within your region for almost every aspect of your wedding. Joining online discussion forums and engaging directly with other brides and suppliers will enable you to seek advice and support, as well as being able to vent your frustrations in an anonymous environment. You could even start your own wedding blog to keep distant friends and family up-to-date on your wedding planning progress.
7. Be prepared for the worst
No matter how organised you are, there are bound to be things that don’t go perfectly to plan. As the saying goes, expect the best, plan for the worst and prepare to be surprised.
If something does go wrong on your wedding day, bursting into tears or throwing a tantrum will not resolve the problem. Instead, take a deep breath, lean on those around you and work out the best solution available at the time. It’s unrealistic to expect perfection, so aim for just plain wonderful.
8. Remember that it’s not all about you
It’s easy to become self-absorbed when you’re going to be a bride, but try to remember that life goes on for those around you. Try to be reasonable in your expectations. Don’t be the bride who demands that her bridesmaids drop two dress sizes and don’t throw a hissy fit if your Matron of Honour announces that she’s pregnant and due the week of your wedding.
Take care to also remember that the wedding is about your fiance too. Involve him in every step of the planning process and make sure he feels that his opinions are valued along the way. Ask him which aspects of the wedding he would specifically like to organise and if there’s anything that’s particularly important to him.
9. Pat yourself on the back occasionally
Above all, make sure you step back at regular intervals and recognise how much you’ve already done. Enjoy the planning process and take satisfaction in your many achievements along the way.
Finally, make sure you take some time out on your actual wedding day to reflect on your journey as a couple and the fun you’ve had along the way.
Remember, wedding planning can be stress-free. It’s up to you, and your fiance, to make it so.
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